Signs of Domestic Abuse

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If you can answer yes to several of these questions, please GET HELP NOW.

ISOLATION or Restricting Freedoms:

  • Tells you that you can not do something 
  • Jealous about who you see 
  • Monitors your time, makes you account for where you were 
  • Does not allow you to leave the house 
  • Makes it difficult for you to get a job 
  • Restricts your use of the car 
  • Tries to prevent you from contacting family 
  • Alienates you from family and friends 
  • Turns children against you 
  • Keeps you from getting medical care 
  • Withholds affection to punish you 
  • Tries to turn people against you 

ECONOMIC ABUSE

  • Makes you account for all the money spent 
  • Keeps you short of money 
  • Makes you ask for basic necessities 
  • Undermines your attempts to improve your education 
  • Undermines your attempts to get or keep a job 
  • Controls the money 
  • Makes you ask for money 
  • Refuses to give you money 
  • Makes all major decisions about money without consulting you 
  • Spends money only on things he wants

PATRIARCHAL PRIVILEGE

  • Demands obedience like you were a servant 
  • Makes decisions without your input 
  • Treats you like you were inferior 
  • Tells you you can’t cope without him 
  • Treats you like a child

SEXUAL ABUSE

  • Withholds sex to punish you 
  • Pressures you to have sex 
  • Forces you to have sex against your will 
  • Pressures you to have sex after being abused 
  • Pressures or forces you into unwanted sex acts 
  • Treats you like a sex object 
  • Inflicts pain on you during sex

THREATS AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE

  • Turn people against you 
  • Leave the relationship 
  • See someone else 
  • Take children away from you 
  • Leave you short of money 
  • Come after you if you leave 
  • Have you committed to an institution 
  • Hurt or kill you and/or the children 
  • Hurt or kill himself/herself 
  • Blames you for his/her problem 
  • Drives your car in a frightening way 
  • Have someone else kill you, your family, your friends etc.

ANGER AND INTIMIDATION

  • Changing his mood suddenly 
  • Giving silent treatment 
  • Demonstrating anger 
  • Shouting or yelling 
  • Pounding fist on table 
  • Hitting the wall 
  • Throwing or kicking something 
  • Stomping out of the room/house

PHYSICAL ABUSE

  • Throws something at you
  • Pushes, grabs or shoves you
  • Pulls your hair
  • Twists your arm
  • Pins you to the wall, floor, bed
  • Chokes you
  • Kicks, hits or punches you
  • Hits, or tries to hit you with something
  • Threatens you with a knife, gun or other weapon
  • Tries to run you down with the car
  • Physically and/or sexually abuses the children
  • Kills pets
  • Deprives you of sleep

EMOTIONAL ABUSE

  • Says things to spite or insult you in front of others
  • Puts down your physical appearance
  • Makes out you are stupid
  • Criticizes your care of children/home
  • Calls you names and swears at you
  • Tells you you are crazy/irrational
  • Accuses you of having an affair
  • Ridicules family or friends
  • Does not show concern for children’s needs or concerns
  • Gets angry when children cry or make demands
  • Goes through personal things ie: purse, drawers, pockets
  • Frightens children’s friends so they stop coming over

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